See, when it came to deciding the release date for Madness I wanted it to be a date that was significant in my life. Some date that had ties to other things in it. There's not many good dates from the past. But I am a creative soul so here's the 'equation' if you will.
12+04+13 = 29
When I was 29 years old. I found my freedom. I had been in a very violent and abusive relation that lasted a few scant years. But the residual issues from that and the person that I unfortunately was a victim of, didn't stop when the papers were final. My day-to-day became a nightmare.
When I turned 29, I was a parent raising three kids and living on a shoe-string budget. It was very hard and I had the nightmare of my past still trying to destroy my future. And stop me from being happy. If not stop me from breathing.
One winter night-- that came full circle when my past once again visited. And this time...I fought back. It was not pretty and it was the stuff of nightmares. I tapped my own personal Madness that night to find strength I didn't know I had. I turned the demons that had me feeling weak, worthless and useless to my side. TO fight darkness. And to come to terms with it. To not only acknowledge my own darkness inside, but to feed it, maintain it and realize it was a part of me that made me balanced and whole.
A lot like Reno.
A lot like Reno.
So that winter night I fought.
And I won.
My tormentor was put away. And I never had to see him again.
My tormentor was put away. And I never had to see him again.
So....the number 29 is very important to me.
But I didn't just want to put it out on the 29th of some month. No.
Because it was December 4th, so many years ago that I found my own Madness, when I was 29....could be my friend and save me.
Thank you....as always.
And thank you Reno and Emma- For being those persistent voices in my creative head.
-J
<3
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