It's November? How the Heck Did That Happen?

I’ve had this blog for years and as I’ve said in previous posts, it’s a good thing it’s not a goldfish because it would have been floating belly up for quite a while. I have no idea where this year has gone but here it is November and I haven’t published a single book in 2018. I had such lofty yet reasonable goals; four books a year—one book each quarter.  Yet, here we are, it’s November and I haven’t published a single one. To be perfectly honest, Murder (book four of the Shadow-Keepers series) was due in March but yeah, I hate to repeat myself but it’s November. That’s March 2018, by the way (imagine a deep sigh of defeat here).

Murder has a pre-order release date of January 2^nd, 2019. In case you’re doing the math, that’s not even close to March 2018. You can help my guilt by clicking the pre-order. Not to mention seeing that pre-order number climb puts major pressure on me to finish the damn thing. After all (yes, it’s getting redundant now) it’s November.  Here’s the link to help make me lose sleep, curl up in the corner crying “I’m going to be a failure”… but it will be worth the wait and the read, I promise.

You can click the pre-order link here:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KCCR2FL

It’s not like 2018 was not a busy year. Oh no, it completely was. But not in the writing, authoring corner of my brain. As some of you may know, my “other” job was as a Senior Project Manager for a Fortune 200 company and it kept me busy—as in days, evenings and sometimes weekends. That’s what happens when a company decides to move so much overseas and slide all the domestic work to the few people, they still have in the U.S. I saw the writing on the corporate wall; after all, I had been employed by that same company prior, laid off for 1.5 years after working a decade with them and had moved on in that period. That is, until they called me back and offered that big mind changer—money. Really good money and the bonus of being able to work from home. That was my demand because my dad’s health was failing and I wanted to be here in Texas where he was. They accepted my demand and I belonged to them again in 2015.  And that continued until September of this year. Yep, I once again joined the ranks of the laid off. They did do right by me with a severance and such—but zero warning from them; I knew it was coming but I thought I would have had some more time—like they said I did. I logged in on a Monday and was told, nope, log back out. You’re done. Yeah. And I wasn’t the only one. They moved thousands overseas and us domestic PM’s were among those numbers.

Side note: I should tell you the funny part—the fact they called me to come back within weeks of letting me go and offered me a lot more money. My fear of failure at supporting myself with myself had me accepting, once again with demands, and it was all good to go. Until it wasn’t. I have no idea but I think the person that offered me the position—also got laid off. It’s that comical. But I digress…

Being a fairly intelligent person (most days) I made plans for when my job vaporized. I started my own consulting agency. A few friends who I respected knew that I have always helped other authors in indie publishing and said I could make money at that. I laughed and said, you think? But that planted a seed and realized I could combine my passion of writing and helping authors with the skills I had learned from thirteen years as a corporate project manager. And Ink-N-Flow Management Group was born. The original plan was to build up my fledging little agency while the corporate job ramped down because I would have an income while the agency grew its wings from a single feather—me. You know that saying about best-made-plans? Apply that here. The sudden loss of employment without the usual few weeks of transition hit hard. I had zero choice but to let the impact of that blow send me right into my new ambitions with the agency.  If you haven’t given it a look, please do. I’m very proud of it and we are expanding majorly in 2019.

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/InkNFlowManagement/

Website:

www.InkNFlowManagementGroup.com

But back to 2018. I started it and it flew… Fast.

I had no idea it would. My own self-doubt roped together with my depression told me over and over that it would fail. That the wings I hoped it would have would melt away like Icarus flying to the sun with his son—fragile hopes held together with fear, hope and creativity; like wax on feathers. That or Ink-N-Flow flies only on cloudy days and the sun isn’t seen. Or we’re like Batman… or something. But I am so grateful as we coast along. Since opening our doors, we have a staff of myself and three other amazing people who have such hopes for the agency and work so damn hard. You know how amazing it is to have people believe and have FAITH in you? Even on days when you have none of that for yourself? I have no words (which is fairly sad considering I’m a fairly decent storyteller) but I am so happy they are there day-by-day to boost the dream we hope Ink-N-Flow will become. Not IF… but will. You have any idea how great yet difficult it is to tell myself WILL… not IF? That’s huge people—you’ll just have to take my word for it.

In the few months we started we’ve taken on incredibly talented author clients, a publisher (thank you, Becky), helped several inspiring women start their own businesses with our help and encouragement. My bills are actually getting paid—sure, I’m not eating fancy and I downgraded many areas to lean down my budget but that’s okay. I love waking up and being my own boss. Just ask my close friends how very giddy-stupid I was when the bank set me up with a business account, my LLC was complete and I could officially and legally be called a CEO (Chief Executive Officer,  hush, you of course knew what that stood for but I love saying/typing it) of my own corporation. Never mind that I am also the switchboard, the accountant, the mail room and runner; it’s still amazing to this single mom who once upon a time was homeless and did phone sex while pregnant with my first child to get by (yeah, that’s all true).

So, here we are in November with the end of this year right around the corner, peeking over at me and going “tick-tock” each day. I have a book coming out, I have a schedule to get four and more done next year (thank you, Lori) and Ink-N-Flow is branching out to local businesses. Which means learning to tell my social anxiety and stress to shut the _____ up, I have too much to do and no time for such foolishness. The same issues that have me sleeping too much some days, curling up and unable to go outside the house or heaven help me if I run out of toilet tissue and no one delivers that kind of stuff, days. I can do this. Or so I’m going to keep telling myself and telling others to tell me until it’s true.

I must do this.

The writing – it has to happen because I make zero money if the words don’t get out there beyond my head and my flash drive.

Ink-N-Flow Management has to fly because I have empowering people that believe in me and it. I’m not the only feather trying not to soar too dang close to the sun.

I am a single, older woman with no husband or other to support me.

I have pets to feed (who think they are human children – I’m not kidding. One even insists on wearing clothes).
And I do not want to go back to doing phone sex—for the record, I was really good at it. Just sayin’. :D

Or homeless. I REALLY don’t want to go back to that. As carefree as it seems those days mentioned up there.

So, here’s to 2019 and showing 2018 that I noticed it was a bitch and sneaked past me.

Come on, I can do it. You can do it.

We can do it.

Now, who is going to supply the chocolate and wine?

Oh and bring some toilet tissue… 😉